Life Lessons with Nick : Flying Etiquette 101

Nick here.

I’ve been wanting to write this one out for a long while.

This will be a shortened & abbreviated list, or else Two Small Fries would turn into a Two Smalls Fly blog (terrible Dad joke, I know), solely dedicated to educating folks with some small tips (that are actually huge) on proper etiquette & knowledge when flying to other destinations in the world. As a musician, traveling is a huge part of my profession, and let me tell you, I’ve seen some WILD stuff people do over all the years of traveling I’ve done.. so, I might as well write about it and maybe save some people from being THAT person. (NOTE: Some of these tips vary on country / location - these are mainly geared towards people flying out of the US)


Tip #1: You know you need an ID or Passport to get checked in & get through security. It’s unbelievable to me watching people act befuddled like they do not know they need to prove who they are to get to your desired gate. C’mon. Have it ready. It’s not rocket science. 

Tip #2: This is, by far, one of my biggest pet peeves. They’re called “gate lizards” or “huddlers”. What is this? It’s when people who are in Zone 7 just huddle up & block the entrance at the gate before you board the flight. It’s unreal to me. You’re not getting on the plane any earlier, and in all reality, you’re actually slowing down the process for yourself with getting on any sooner. The plane isn’t leaving without you. Also, if you want to be in an earlier boarding zone, sometimes you’re able to pay extra for it when you check-in. Don’t be THAT guy at the gate. Patience is a virtue. Make a path. 

Tip #3: Have your boarding pass out when you’re boarding. Stupid tip? You’d be surprised how many people try to board a flight without their boarding pass out to get scanned. Stop the insanity. You can even have your boarding pass on your phone. Take a screenshot. Just have the damn thing ready. 

Tip #4: When you board the flight, don’t stand in the aisle, pulling everything out of your bag that you “need”, while holding everyone up behind you that are trying to get to their seats. First tip within this tip, have your essentials already pulled out so you can toss your bag in the overhead bin and sit down. If it’s a hassle, wait until after the flight has taken off, then get the essentials out of the overhead bin. The longer it takes for people to get seated, the longer it takes for the plane to taxi from the gate. Don’t be THAT guy. Get on the plane and sit down already. 

Tip #5: This last one is something I feel like I’ve only started seeing the past few years. After the plane has landed and the seat belt sign has turned off, don’t bolt down the aisle to the front of the plane. Surefire way to piss everyone off. First of all, it’s dangerous while people are getting up and flooding the aisle. Second of all, you create traffic — subsequently making it longer to get off the plane. Patience, people! Single-file, exit out of your row when it’s your time. It’s very simple. Don’t be an idiot. Don’t be THAT guy. 


Some other smaller tidbits:

- Respect personal space. 

- Be nice. 

- Use your inside voice on flights.

- Put headphones on. No one wants to hear what you’re listening to and listen to your conversation on speakerphone. 

- It’s a touch screen. No need to to punch the screen to select your movies while simultaneously jolting my chair & creating unwanted "personal turbulence". 

- Don’t take your shoes & your socks off. Just don’t. For the sake of everyone in your row and the rows around you. Just don’t. 

- When airplane personnel are doing food & beverage service, sit down. Please. Sit down. 

 

Now that I’ve gotten all that off my chest, this is a reminder that I’m just having a laugh writing this post. I’m the most patient person in the world, so for the most part, I just chuckle to myself when I see these things in action. I quite literally experience a number of these faux pas every single time I fly. At this point in my life, all I can do is laugh. The post is meant for entertainment value. Take it for what it is..

 

.. But dammit, PLEASE adhere to it! 😜😂

 

What else would you guys like me to write about? Anything specific from my travels and/or touring?

Let me know below. 

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